I debated about writing this blog for the last 24 hours. I have been in a place of anguish and grieving in my spirit over missing a moment in the Lord during a meeting. I decided to write this to possibly help others who have had this same experience.
We all have had meetings when we missed a transition or didn’t turn the corner. Most of the time these moments are not as critical, and we are able to continue or come back later as God progressively keeps moving us forward. There are really two types of moments Chronos and Kairos. For the most part, what I just described was a Chronos moment. Chronos moment has the anointing present and the gifts are flowing.
The other type of meeting is Kairos. Kairos moments are when the presence of the Lord has come and flood or invade the atmosphere. The moments are different because Kairos is a transitional moment of time that God has prearranged. This is the moment we just missed that has grieved my spirit so much. What makes it probably worse is I knew the intention God was transitioning us into. These transition moments do not come by very often. They are something that has a sovereign feel to it. It is the alignment of a multitude of things colliding at the same moment. Anticipation, expectation, faith, presence, focus, passion, prayer, preparation and a charged atmosphere of God presence flooding, all have come to a convergence point to bring a group of people through a portal opening into the next level. It seems to take all of these to transition, but once the transition is made it only takes a few of these to maintain.
Our worship team had the right songs, the people had become a single unit focused in worship and brought to a place many were having individual encounters. The theme of the night’s worship was the fire. Prior to the meeting, the Lord had told me to lay hands on everyone at the end of the service and release fire upon them and He was going to baptize us in a corporate fire as a group. He then told me to pray into the state with this fire resting upon us. He showed me it was a necessary moment to place us in the right place for future things we had planned. It would be a release of power coming upon us. The problem this night was twofold.
One we were short-handed this night and I had to run the P.A., which is not a problem generally, but this night we had many issues. It took me until almost the end of worship to be able to get things worked out and get engaged. As the worship was ending, I saw the theme of fire and the many people faced down, we had come to the convergence point. I was resting in the Lord and asking should I pray now? You told me at the end? Did we miss it? Did I not hear correctly? A Host of questions flooded me. The P.A. distraction has dulled my spiritual focus. We could have stayed a long time at that moment so I decided to just listen to be sure what should happen. I was beginning to sense God shifting the moment to be the moment I have seen at the end, now in the middle. We were still under tension. I was waiting on Him to give me the unseen nod.
The second problem was before I had a clear pathway to execute, someone began to pray out loud and it increased in volume and intensity and went for about 10-15 minutes. Nothing wrong with the prayer, but not the right timing and the wrong order. I could feel the moment slipping away and I could feel the expectation and faith in the room diminishing. My spirit reached such a place of grieving of not just missing a moment but missing the opportunity. I struggled to find a way back but knew we just couldn’t without fabricating something. I saw all the factors we had hit and knew these moments don’t just come along every week. We simply couldn’t just have a do-over next week.
I knew I had to say something as the grieving was so deep in me, I couldn’t even speak the message in this state. I explained how we had missed the moment of God wanting to take us deeper. For most, they had gotten to a good place and were happy we had a good meeting so far. But I knew the whole story and was really the only one in the room seeing a complete picture of what God wanted to do. He was trying to get us into the new season and out of the typical. I knew he was moving us into a level of power. I sensed what He wanted to bring us into was an authentic move of God. I believe many couldn’t figure out why I was so grieved after all the presence of the Lord had flooded the place. After I shared my heart I was able to give the message on Combatting the Religious Spirit. When I was to end speaking about the need for the fire of God, I could sense the emptiness of the words after I said a single sentence on the topic. The Holy Spirit was not there now, so I closed the message. The moment had come and went.
The last 30 hours have been a gut-wrenching time. I have rerun the scenario over and over. As a leader, I feel the weight of moments. As a leader, I’m responsible if we make those moments. As a leader, I must know how to steward the moments and keep it on track. I have had to ask some hard questions. Am I upset because I didn’t get to pray for people? No. Did I just not connect and everyone else did so am I grieving over myself? No. The grieving I concluded was not because we missed the moment, but because we missed this specific God-ordained moment that was to bring us into our future.
Will God bring this moment again? Possible, but there is no guarantee. But what I sensed is all the factors were the perfect storm causing the convergence. If we all could keep coming with the same expectations, faith, anticipation etc. then we would put ourselves in the right place. The one thing that also stood out was everyone there that night really wanted to be there and were engaged. Will we need that as well? I don’t know. I do know this I cannot hype people to get there. We could possibly come pressing for that exact moment again. But it also is about timing. I do know we will make the transition but the unknown is when.
I have decided the next time to step in no matter the embarrassment it might cause. I cherish not just the presence but the order and alignment the Lord is wanting to bring. There has been some good out of this in the many dialogues this has caused in our ministry and in other places who watched the stream. My encouragement to others is no matter what, steward the moments even if someone must be sat down. I hope sharing my heart will help you become more spiritual a tune in the moment to make sure you don’t miss the moment that might be your opportunity.