I just want to share my heart on some things as I reflect today of all those invested into. I am reflecting back on the multitude of pastors overseas, the students in our school of ministry and the current group of connections. One thing that seems to happen is different people connect in different season and for some reason then disconnect I have to honestly say I don’t see a kingdom pattern for the disconnect. Paul connected with Timothy for a life time. The 12 apostles hung around together. Paul had certain teams who were still connected with him. But still Paul had those who abandoned him while in prison. It was only a handful who remained with him to the end! So what causes the disconnect?
As I am going to my 35 class reunion this weekend, I just got word of the death of a man who was a classmate of my son, who graduated from the same high school I did. He did not see his 15 reunion. A young life taken so quickly and unexpected. I thought of the parents and grief their heart must be feeling. I thought of the wife and young child left. How does a heart go forth without becoming callused? How do you not become disheartened with life?
I know Paul and Jesus felt this same type of lost concerning those they had invested in and a nurtured in spiritual growth. We say it is not permanent like a natural death when one walks away. But in many ways the eternal consequences could be the same. The Father of the prodigal son must have felt some of the same feelings of lose as he stated my “son who once was lost is now found”. He had hope of the return as he was looking for him, but I imagine his faith had to supersede his disheartened state. He was suffering as he carried the lose of his son daily. Yet through suffering we learn obedience. We see to the obedient state he responded with, when his son came home. He was able to reveal the heart of restoration to his son.
I have felt the disheartened state as sons and daughters have disconnected and seemingly become “dead” towards me. For those spiritually fathering it is very real feeling like the lose of a son or daughter. In some ways the grief is very similar. All those who spiritually father know what I am talking about. The desire to go on with life and keep trying can be overwhelming. But then God sends another towards you to minister to.
That is what happened again this week as I talked with a young woman this past Wed night. She is 20 years old and wants to serve God with her life. She is moving into full time ministry and taking training. In the conversation I just heard the Holy Spirit to say, “you need to be healed of your father’s wounds as this is hindering your identity.” She then told me her dad had left her a few years back and she has no contact with him. My heart again reached out. I think this is the key to fight dis-heartedness, to reach outward and not keep looking inward. There are those in need of answers and truly desiring help.
The hope all Spiritual fathers have, is not only the fulfillment of their sons and daughters fully functioning and impacting, but also a hope exist in all those who have disconnected to reconnect. This reconnecting helps ignite faith again and gives hope back. It I believe it helps heal the loses we suffer. This to in the last week has happened as I re-connected with a spiritual daughter who was out of contact with for almost 4 years. We talked as if there was no gap in relationship. This to has encouraged my heart greatly.
Greg Crawford 